The Diablo Album
by Lazarus de Medci IV
Summary: From the maker of the Starcraft Album!
1. Rockstopper Sallet

Author's Note: Sallet is pronounced Sal-Lay  
  
I was playin' all night, by my monitor light  
On the Lord of Destruction  
I was in Harrogath, On nightmare mode  
Fighting against corruption  
  
You'd never believe what i found but i have it  
Thats probably why i wrote this song  
It's an exeptional item, but also unique  
An item fit for a king, king kong  
  
I found a  
Rockstopper Sallet  
The kind you find in a difficult game  
Rockstopper Sallet  
It's up for trade, looking for Jalal's Mane  
Rockstopper Sallet  
It's in my stash, now  
  
I was all alone  
I used my old good luck charm  
With my level 56 Druid  
  
So, I thought  
I'd go to the trading channel  
And advertise my find  
On LoD US-West  
  
There was to many dudes, i couldnt say edgewise  
So i spammed until i filled up the screen,  
  
That wasn't too bright  
Boy, I could tell you that right now  
The "People" came after me  
  
I found a  
Rockstopper Sallet  
The kind you find in a difficult game  
Rockstopper Sallet  
It's up for trade, looking for Jalal's Mane  
Rockstopper Sallet  
It's in my stash, now  
  
  
The sorcoresses and barbarians came  
They asked me what the heck i was doin'  
But i defeated most and they let me be  
I hope they ain't to Suein'  
  
Listen  
They say exeptionals aren't the greatest  
But i tell ya  
I'm not quite up to the elite items yet  
  
But maybe later on  
I'll get treads of cthon  
Or elites or maybe Tal Rasha's set  
  
(Rockstopper Sallet)  
The kind you find  
(Yeah, the kind you find)  
The kind you find  
(In a difficult game)  
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!  
(Rockstopper Sallet,  
It's up for trade, looking for Jalal's Mane)  
Where have all the rockstopping sallets gone?  
(Looking for Jalal's Mane)  
Boo-Yah  
(Rockstopper Sallet)  
It's in my, yes in my, It's in my stash, now  
(Rockstopper Sallet)  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Shake it up!  
(The kind you find in a difficult game)  
(Rockstopper Sallet)  
Dangit,  
Where have all the rockstopping sallets gone?  
(It's up for trade, looking for Jalal's Mane)  
(Rockstopper Sallet)  
It's in my Stash... 


	2. Druid

Somebody watch me, now  
'Cause I've got the knowhow  
I ain't the newbie type anymore  
  
So then I summoned up a Grizzly  
And started to get busy  
With the title of "Slayer" on my head  
  
Well, the guys start coming  
And they don't stop coming  
Send some Dire wolves to stop 'em from runnin'  
  
Doesn't make sense why we don't use guns  
But all-in-all, it's pretty fun  
  
So much to kill, so much to slay,  
So it's really good, the way I play  
  
You'll never get a good thrill  
If you don't go out and kill  
  
Hey now, I'm a Druid,  
Get your pelt on, Shift shapes  
  
Hey now, I'm Tree-Hugger,  
Climb trees and eat grapes,  
  
All things glitter with the ALT key,  
Wish that I could have a monkey  
  
It's a rough place, and they say it gets rougher,  
You're getting' whooped now, but wait 'till you get tougher  
  
The barbarian dudes beg to differ  
Judging by their armor gettin' stiffer  
  
The guys I slay are resurrectin'  
But use Armageddon and they get thin  
  
My vine's on fire, givin' some tours  
There must be 1001 blood moors  
Hey now, I'm a Druid,  
Get your pelt on, Shift shapes  
  
Hey now, I'm Tree-Hugger,  
Climb trees and eat grapes,  
  
All things glitter with the ALT key,  
Wish that I could have a monkey   
  
Hey now, I'm a Druid,  
Get your pelt on, Shift shapes  
  
Hey now, I'm Tree-Hugger,  
Climb trees and eat grapes,  
  
All things glitter with the ALT key,  
Wish that I could have a monkey   
  
Somebody once begged  
Me for mana potions  
"I need to summon up a fire golem"  
  
I said done,  
Don't got none,  
I could use one, though, myself,  
Now let's move after them  
  
Well, the guys start coming  
And they don't stop coming  
Send some Dire wolves to stop 'em from runnin'  
  
Doesn't make sense why we don't use guns  
But all-in-all, it's pretty fun  
  
So much to kill, so much to slay,  
So it's really good, the way I play  
  
You'll never get a good thrill  
If you don't go out and kill  
  
Hey now, I'm a Druid,  
Get your pelt on, Shift shapes  
  
Hey now, I'm Tree-Hugger,  
Climb trees and eat grapes,  
  
All things glitter with the ALT key,  
Wish that I could have a monkey   



	3. We are the Hardcores

I've slayed diablo,   
Time after time   
  
I've waltzed through Magma,   
And waded through slime,   
  
Come loot my corpse,   
Now that i'm gone   
  
I've had my share of opinionated remarks,   
But I keep on,   
  
And I need to kill more,   
And more,   
And more,   
And more,   
  
We are the hardcores, my friends   
And we'll have untimely, bloody, ends   
  
We are the hardcores,   
We are the hardcores,   
No corpse retreival,   
'Cause we are the hardcores...   
...Of Battle.Net   
  
I've put up with normals,   
Put up with them all,   
  
They've called me Names, and shunned Me, and whatever you can think of   
I've seen it all   
  
I've leveled my druid,   
Right before bed,   
  
But then i got bogged down my enslaved fanatics...   
...Now i'm dead   
  
And I need to kill more,   
And more,   
And more,   
And more,   
  
We are the hardcores, my friends   
And we'll have untimely, bloody, ends   
  
We are the hardcores,   
We are the hardcores,   
No corpse retreival,   
'Cause we are the hardcores...   
...Of Battle.Net


	4. Bohemian Parody

Is this a real sword?   
Or is it ethereal?   
Caught in a firewall   
With no escape from zeal   
With a climb from the gorge,   
Look down at the forge and see...   
I'm just a Druid, I need Lycanthropy   
Because i'm; Get a point, Learn a skill,   
Scale a mountain, climb a hill,   
Anyone that i can kill,   
Doesn't really matter to me...   
To me...   
  
My druid just killed Baal,   
Put a Grizzly on his head,   
Unleashed my fury, now he's dead,   
My druid, Act V had just begun   
But now i've done and gone onto mightmare   
My druid, ooo,   
Didn't mean to go too fast,   
I think i'll run through the bloody foothills,   
Kill Shenk, Kill Shenk, As if for the very first time   
  
Too late, My time has come,   
Got a solar creeper vine,   
These critters are mine, all mine,   
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go...   
Gotta leave you all behind and go to bed   
My druid, ooo (Anyone that I can kill)   
I don't want to leavem   
I sometimes wish i'd been a sorcoress instead   
  
I see a little silletto of a man,   
Necromancer, necromancer, Will you make a fire golem?   
Charged bolt, Chain lightning, Nova, very brightning screen   
Armageddon, Armageddon   
Armageddon, Armageddon   
Armageddon, Learn it so, Magnifico!   
I'm just a druid, nobody trusts me,   
He's just a druid, From an eastern temple   
Spare him his armor from the wrath of Colenzo   
Get a point, Learn a skill, Will you let my join?   
Leave this game! No, We will not let you join - Let him join!   
Leave this game! We will not let you join - Let him join!   
Leave this game! We will not let you join - Let me join!   
Will not let you join - Let me join!   
Will not let you join - Let me join!   
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,   
Mama mia, Papa pia, Gotta Diarhea, LET ME GO!   
Marius has a stone set aside, but not for me, not for me, not for me...   
  
So, You think you can slay me and step on my corpse?   
So, You think you can join me, and cause me to die?   
Oh paladin, cant do this to me paladin   
Just gotta get out, just gotta get out right now!   
  
For the very first time   
So very long ago,   
For the very first time   
Like the very first time for me...   
  
...Anyone that i can kill...


	5. Tristram Anthem

Buddy you're a small man,  
  
Fallen man,  
  
Clawin' at the door,  
  
Gonna' gimme' a break someday  
  
You got rings in your face,  
  
And just in case,  
  
You ever decide to get outta my face  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
Buddy you're a bad man,  
  
Bishop man,  
  
Lyin' to the king,  
  
Gonna burn in hell someday,  
  
You got scars on your face,  
  
Place-in-place,  
  
Takin' you down with a stalwart mace  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
Buddy you're a huge man,  
  
Evil man,  
  
Embodiyin' the prince  
  
Gonna be gone for good someday,  
  
You got a stone in your face,  
  
Let's end this chase,  
  
It just got too bloody for my taste!  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
I will, I will slay you!  
  
(Bass and Keyboard until end) 


	6. Destined for Hell's Forge

Brother, take this stone out 'o me  
  
I can't stand it no more  
  
A shattered legacy behind me  
  
Feel I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
Chorus:  
  
Think I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
(Necromancer: D-d-destined for the hellforge)  
  
Think I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
(Paladin: Let that hammer fall)  
  
Think I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
(Barbarian Guard: And you shall not breech them now!)  
  
Think I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
-Musical interlude-  
  
Deckard Cain:  
  
Yes, the ancient horadrim texts speak of this place, where the demonic rune blade, Shadowfang, was cast; This is also the place where the angel of heaven, Izual, fell on his fated attempt of assault, and made a wicked demon: he, now, is no longer trusted by heaven… nor hell…  
  
-Music Restarts-  
  
Brother, take my sword, bury it deep  
  
I can't barely lift it no more  
  
I'm headed straight for terror's keep  
  
Yes, I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
Chorus:  
  
Think I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
(Marius: It's not my fault!)  
  
Think I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
(Marius: It was…)  
  
Think I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
(Marius: …The wanderer)  
  
Think I'm destined for hell's forge  
  
-Musical interlude-  
  
Archangel Tyreal:  
  
You must find the courage within you, to take the soulstones, and carry them to this forsaken place, deep within the fiery depths of hell, for this is the only place in the mortal realm where the stones can be destroyed… for good  
  
-Music Restarts-  
  
-Music until end- 


	7. Track list & Special thanks

1. Rockstopper Sallet (To the tune of Prince's "Raspberry Baret": De Medci, Calypso)  
  
2. Druid (To the tune of Smash Mouth's "All Star": De Medci, Emander, Schwartz)  
  
3. We Are The Hardcores (To the tune of Queen's "We Are The Champions": De Medci, Calypso)  
  
4. Bohemian Parody (To the tune of Queen's "Bohemian Raspody": De Medci, Calypso)  
  
5. Tristram Anthem (To the tune of Queen's "We Will Rock You": De Medci, Emander)  
  
6. Destined For Hell's Forge (To the tune of Bob Dylan's "Knockin' on Heaven's Door": De Medci)  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Special Thanks To: Prince, Smash Mouth, Queen, Bob Dylan, Jeeves (Your Internet Butler), And a Very Special Thanks to: Wierd Al" Yankovic, Lazarus de Medci III, Blizzard Entertainment, And the staff of FanFiction.Net  
  
All songs are property of their acredited artists, The Diablo album and all it's contents are property of Lazarus de Medci IV, (C) 2001-2002, All Rights Reserved - FanFiction.Net 


End file.
